Hey! Get back here!
Damn, they won't let up!
That's because you got them with a flying vacuum knee kick...
I just assumed they were a bunch of con artists running a scam or something.
I can't go on...
Kyoko!
Don't give us any trouble!
So you think you could get away, eh?
Everyone calm down, and let's resolve this by talking it over.
It's too late for that now!
Grown men shouldn't hit women.
What? Trying to act cool, huh?
Owowowowow!
Ow! Stop it!
Please stop! Please!
Don't mess with us!
How dare you!
Um...
Thanks for rescuing us.
Don't get the wrong idea.
I did it because it'd be a nuisance if there were a commotion behind the shop I work at.
Otherwise, hell if I'd help a couple of shallow women like you.
Oh, I see.
So if you get the picture, then hurry up and leave, woman.
What a patronizing creep!
But he did save us, though.
Control yourself, control yourself, control yourself.
Self under control.
But before we go...
There you are.
A token of our gratitude, as it were.
But, that's as far as it goes.
If you had been a little more pleasant,
I would've given you a steamy kiss as well.
Too bad, eh?
Kiss?!
Just kidding.
Anyway, thanks.
Come on, let's go, Kyoko.
Um, uh, thanks.
See ya.
The Pure Yet lmpure Grappler
Oh, I hate this.
- The Next Day -
Issuing an eviction notice...
We have no choice.
It was by order of His Excellency the President.
But, I hear the amateur karate club has quite a history behind it.
Even if we march right down there, whether they'll listen to us willingly...
That's probably why we were the ones chosen for this.
I have a feeling it's going to get even messier...
Here we are.
Wow, this place is a dump...
Get down!
What the?
You two over there!
Are you guys here to challenge us too?
So that's the amateur karate club?
So, what do you want?
What do you want?
As we have informed you before,
this dojo is so old and run-down that we're going to tear it down.
So please vacate the premises at once. Today if possible.
That's something we can't agree to.
We don't have anywhere else to go.
Give us another clubhouse. Then we'll consider it.
That's a little beyond my power...
Well, then, no deal.
If you really want this place,
then come and take it by force!
Chidori.
They're saying that it's okay to use force.
So how about we forcibly remove them?
You make an interesting proposition.
You think a man like you...
could defeat us?
It's a fact.
You guys alone couldn't possibly beat me.
Hey Sousuke...
All right then...
We were just getting bored.
Choose one of us.
If you win, we'll vacate the dojo.
However!
If you lose, we expect to be suitably compensated.
Let's see...
We'll take the woman!
Huh?!
We were just looking to fill the club manager's position.
And she's quite pure and lovely.
Yeah, it looks like she'd bear good kids!
All right, that's fine.
Hey, Sousuke!
Don't worry.
All I have to do is win.
All right, I'll fight you.
Don't you regret this...
First, I'll tell you this.
What we aspire to is the true Vale Tudo. "Anything goes."
For extreme combat-oriented mixed martial arts, be prepared to break a bone or two.
Combat-oriented, huh?
That's perfect.
Eat this!
I win.
What the hell was that?
You coward!
Where do you get off using firearms?
Guns are unsportsmanlike? Why?
Silence!
At any rate, guns are forbidden!
Isn't it the nature of combat to face your opponent with the best equipment at your disposal?
Even in a real match guns aren't allowed!
We demand a rematch!
Well, what they're saying does make sense.
Understood. I won't use guns.
I'm next! Get ready!
Eat this!
I'm begging you!
Stop it!
Stop it now!
I win.
You can't use gas either!
I don't understand their standards.
Look, Sousuke.
These guys only fight each other with their bare hands.
With just their bare hands?
I've never heard of actual fighting like that.
Anyway, it's true.
But, Chidori...
No whining!
Understood.
All I have to do is inflict damage bare-handed without using any weapons, right?
Uh-huh! Exactly.
I'm next! Get ready!
Eat this!
Catch.
No! Not there!
Stop it!
I win.
Honestly! Why on earth are you so dirty and underhanded?
I bested him with my bare hands.
But you used a grenade!
That was a diversion.
The pin hadn't been removed.
Honestly, you've got some nerve thinking up dirty tricks like that.
Anyhow, with this we have seized control.
You've still got me to deal with.
And you are?
I'm Issei Tsubaki from Class Eight. I'm the captain of this club.
What? Captain?
At what point did you start watching us?
Just a moment ago.
I suspect you made some kind of deal that they'd do something if you defeated them.
You're right. We want you to vacate the dojo.
In that case, that won't happen unless you defeat me.
Hey, wait a sec...
What do you want, woman?
It's me. Me.
Don't you recognize...
Quiet, you.
I don't recognize the likes of you.
What?
A look-alike?
No, it can't be...
In other words, all I have to do is defeat you?
Uh-huh. You may use whatever means you wish.
Daidomyaku-style Secret Technique:
Thrombotic Fist!
Sousuke?!
Leave!
A woman should not enter our sacred dojo! Get out!
Where do you get off calling me "woman"?
I have a name, you know. It's Kaname Chidori!
"Woman" is good enough for the likes of you.
That's mean!
I thought you were such a nice guy yesterday, but...
Yesterday?
No, it can't be.
At any rate, I won.
So you can forget about doing anything with the dojo...
It's not over yet.
Sousuke?
I'm all right.
It did have something of an effect on me, but...
Oh?
And to think that someone could still move after taking a punch like that...
Now I sort of understand the feelings of those who want to fight with their bare hands.
In this kind of situation, guns would certainly be inelegant...
Allow me to fight you seriously this time.
If that's so, then allow me to as well.
I don't really want to use these,
but last time I missed the vital spot by a little bit.
With these I won't miss!
All right, Sousuke, or whatever your name is,
try striking me from anywhere!
Um, can I have a quick word with you? It's about the club manager position...
Save it for later, Chidori.
Woman, I thought I told you to get... out...
You're from the same school?
Oh, um. Sorry for yelling at you and stuff!
I didn't mean any harm!
I appreciate the bandage... Really!
Oh, perhaps you didn't realize it was me because of your poor vision?
No! Not at all...
Um, your tone of voice sounded different, so um...
So... your name is Chidori Kaname. That's a nice name.
Tsubaki, here I go!
Go? Go where?
I don't quite understand it, but it looks like I won.
That's odd. He was beaten so easily too...
I'm sure he's much stronger than that.
What goes on in the heads of guys like these is a mystery after all.
Even though it was through my own carelessness, a loss is still a loss.
We shall vacate our dojo.
But, you haven't heard the last of us!
I demand a rematch, Sagara. The stakes are Chidori Kaname!
Yeah!
Fine with me. Whenever you're ready...
Don't go deciding this stuff on your own!
Trespassing on Good Faith
You bomber boy!
How many times must you do this until you're satisfied?
There was a suspicious article in my shoe locker.
That again?! So what is it this time?
Apparently it's like another letter.
Give me that!
Honestly!
This one's impossible to read too!
I'll try to reconstruct it for now.
Oh really?
All right then, make sure you clean this up
because I'm going home.
Sagara!
SAGARA!
Put your glasses on first, Tsubaki.
Shut up!
Why didn't you come to the duel?
What are you talking about?
Don't play dumb with me!
I put a letter of challenge in your shoe box yesterday.
So that was a written challenge?
That's news to me too.
So you didn't read it?
I couldn't read it because I blew it up.
You blew it up?!
Bastard, how dare you! I'll kill you!
Wait, Sagara!
So there you are!
Take this!
Daidomyaku-style Ultimate Secret Technique:
Fist of Near Death!
So, have you learned your lesson, Sagara?
Student Council Room
They say it will take a week for him to make a full recovery.
So that means that his injury wasn't actually that bad?
The extent of his injury is beside the point.
A student has hurt Mr. Ohnuki Zenji.
That is the problem, Chidori.
Now then...
So, it's Tsubaki Issei-kun, right?
Why are you so obsessed with Sagara?
I hear you made some kind of bet when you were evicted.
Wow!
The deal was I'd become their club manager if he beat Sousuke.
Yes, that was it.
However, Tsubaki-kun, unfortunately that bet is null and void.
Sagara has no right to control her person.
Uh-huh.
And to think that your club could possess her is outrageous.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
The only person who can control Student Body Vice President Chidori
is myself, President Hayashimizu Atsunobu.
You said it.
Hey, wait a sec!
To me...
The bet itself is not important.
It's the fact that I lost to Sagara through my own carelessness that's unbearable.
That I lost to this kind of guy...
This dirty, slimy, senseless,
cheeky, disagreeable,
shameless, cowardly,
dishonest, impure guy who looks down on people...
That's quite a laundry list of insults...
I understand the situation for the most part.
In that case, why don't you give fighting head-on a try?
If you win, you get a new club house.
If you lose, henceforth you will no longer interfere with Sagara.
How does that sound?
Senpai...
I appreciate this, President-san.
If that is your order...
Well, now, hold on a moment.
There's more to a contest than simply using brute force to exert your influence, is there not?
Oh, things were better in the old days...
The students were all simple and honest, filled with dreams and hope...
Even if they were lacking in material possessions, their hearts were rich.
But, what about now?
With that single punch today,
while material objects are plentiful, people's hearts have grown dissolute.
It's so sad...
Coming through!
Pardon me.
You boys...
Is your body still sore?
What?
Well, does it hurt or don't it?
If I must say so, it hurts, but...
Okay!
What are you...
There's internal bleeding.
Owowow! That tickles!
Give him a cold compress! A cold compress!
I strongly object to cooling him.
Not there!
We should turn him so his head faces down to keep him suitably warm and take a urine sample.
Owowow! Stop it! That tickles!
Cut it, cut it out!
What do you think you're doing?
No, it can't be!
You're here to take my ripened flesh by force?
You're planning to have your fill of the fruit that's just about to fall from the branch?!
It seems he's misunderstood us...
We aren't going to hurt you, so rest easy.
What?
We came here to care for you and do your work while you're recuperating.
We've got permission, so take it easy.
Really?
In my twenty-five years as school janitor,
I've never been as moved as this!
There's still some compassion in this world of ours!
Thank you, thank you boys!
For that reason, Ohnuki-san,
observe as I, Sagara Sousuke, competently fulfill your duties.
Pay no attention to him!
Watch the way I, Tsubaki Issei, work!
No, Sagara Sousuke!
No, Tsubaki Issei!
Are you hungry? I'll make you dinner.
Boys...
Wait! I'll do it!
Give me that cutting board, Sagara!
If you want it, step away from the refrigerator.
Hold on a minute...
Ha! Don't make me laugh!
Boys...
How do you expect to use a gas stove without a pot?!
Oh yeah? You can forget about getting this green pepper.
I appreciate the thought, but...
Is this really gonna be okay?
Deciding who will win by who's the most useful...
- The Next Day -
It's an excellent idea, wouldn't you say?
Even the school staff was satisfied with that...
But, more than likely,
both of them will just keep on threatening Ohnuki-san to pick them until it's over.
You're thinking too much, Chidori-kun.
They're both good people at heart.
See for yourself.
Oh, it's true...
All right, let's see how they've been doing.
What is this?!
No, no... I mustn't get angry, I mustn't get angry.
Because no matter how clumsily they are at doing it,
they are in their own way trying their hardest...
A little thing like this is nothing compared to the lifetime of hardships I've endured.
Don't get in my way!
Then don't get in mine!
Ohnuki-san!
Both of you have a seat there!
First let me say this.
I am extremely grateful for your kindness and enthusiasm.
Content of the work aside,
I intend to give you a great deal of credit for your effort.
HOWEVER!
There's just one thing I cannot overlook.
And that's the relationship you two have with each other.
How come you guys just can't get along?
You're always squabbling over the littlest thing.
It's so sad...
Nothing good comes from fighting.
I'm not asking you to get along well, but couldn't you help each other out just a little bit more?
If you're looking for that...
that's just what we were doing now, actually.
Oh?
Tonight's dinner. Fish simmered in miso.
Sagara prepared the ingredients, and I cooked it.
Oh, this is good...
So, you can do it if you try, can't you...
By the way, what kind of fish is this?
I've never tasted this kind before.
It's koi.
Koi?
I got it from the pond behind the school.
It was huge.
Yes, and it put up quite a fight.
It took some time to kill it...
What's the matter, Ohnuki-san?
Boys.
That koi...
That koi?
I spent fifteen years of my life taking care, and I mean good care, in raising that koi.
To me she was like a granddaughter. That's the kind of koi she was.
Oh.
Her name was Catherine.
She was named after a famous French actress.
So you caught her?
And it took some time to kill her?
And what's more, you fed her to me, huh boys?
Yes, that's how it went.
Yes, yes, I finally understand.
You haven't the slightest bit of enthusiasm or good intentions.
All that's in you is maliciousness.
Ohnuki-san?
I must avenge the death of my dear Catherine...
It's too bad you'll have to die. Sagara-kun and Tsubaki-kun.
DIE!
What's this?!
Live ammo... Live ammo has no effect...
What the heck IS this? What happened?
No more... No more fighting...
Live ammo... Live ammo has no effect...
So, what am I doing HERE?
Did something happen?
Preview
Speeding patrol cars,
mascots that fight,
and an unbeatable school janitor?
I don't know, but it looks like we're rapidly losing our principles.
I think the serious viewers will get mad.
Relax.
Next, we offer up a couple of serious horror stories.
I see. Well, then, tune in next time for
"The Hard Sell Fetish" and "The Patient of Darkness"
We produced these episodes to coincide with summer,
but the telecast didn't happen until fall.
In a certain sense, that's the scariest story of them all.
The Hard Sell Fetish
The Patient of Darkness